Preparing the Siblings

Congratulations! You are having a baby…again. A baby is a big change for everyone in the family. Especially if there are going to be siblings involved. There are a few things you can do to help with this transition that I found very helpful. I hope it will work for you as well!

1. Let the older siblings be involved with the pregnancy as much as you can. Let them go to an ultrasound appointment, feel the baby kick, pick out accessories for the nursery, sing songs to your belly so that the baby can recognize their voice.



2. Read books about what happens when the new baby arrives. Tell them the good…and the bad such as the frequent newbon crying.



3. When doing a hospital tour, see if it is ok to bring your younger children with you on the tour. They will also get an idea of the type of room you will stay in, the baby nursery, the friendly staff. This will put the younger kids at ease. Also, some birthing facilities offer sibling preparation classes.



4. Make sure you get your partner to help as much as possible with bathtime, bedtime, and other child care responsbilities before your baby arrives. These routines will make things much easier for the new mom when she gets home, and the younger child will be used to daddy doing the same things that mommy has always done.



5. Try to keep the day as normal as possible for younger siblings. For example, if you go into delivery in the morning and your kids normally would go to daycare or preschool, let them go as planned. Also, prepare them ahead of time if there will be a new caretaker such as grandma, aunt, or neighbor.



6. Get a tee that says big brother or big sister as a gift. This will let them know their new role, and they will display it proudly. Also, let them act out their new role. Let them help get you a diaper, help with bathtime, sing an lullaby, etc.



7. When the kids come to visit for the first time in the hospital, let them touch baby’s toes, kiss the baby’s hands. This helps them bond. Just be sure they wash or sanitize their hands first!



8. I had my kids and my newborn do a gift exchange. For example, my daughter M. gave my newborn a stuffed rattle toy that was proudly displayed with the baby. In exchange, the new baby gave my daughter an activity book with crayons. This allowed my daughter to stay busy with her new activity as we hung out in the hospital room. Or you might want to give siblings a doll that they can feed, change, and take care of their doll. Kids like to parallel activites that they see parents engaged in.



9. Bring a DVD to watch and some books. This allows some snuggle and quiet time at the hospital.



10. You will be telling your older sibling to wait a minute, or to hold on pretty frequently. Especially during nursing time, diaper changes, bath time, and of course bedtime. Make it a point to tell your newborn also to wait a minute or to hold on, and be sure the older sibling hears you say it. I know, it is psychological, but it shows that the older siblings needs are being met as well. Also, mommy must make some time to give each older sibling some attention by themselves.

Best,

T